


Hallmark Occasions

by Sally M (sallymn)



Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-26
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2017-12-09 12:55:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/774436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sallymn/pseuds/Sally%20M
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Greeting for all occasions... done for a livejournal challenge to cover those times in Our Heroes' Lives that standard cards just don't cover...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Hallmark Occasions**

**An Invitation to the late Dr. Jackson's Annual Wake…**

…Dr. Jackson will, as usual, be available for questions and an update on procedures when returning from the dead, for all those who may need it in the near future (that means all of us). 

Black crepe optional but always a nice touch. 

The SGC Science Department 

***

**Happy 150th Birthday Bra'tac!!!**

... and You Don't Look a Day Over 103, you old coot. 

I trust there's cake? 

O'Neill of Minnesota 

***

**Your First Alien Wedding! How Romantic!**

To SGA-1, on their 'Meeting of Soulmates'... hell, that takes us _all_ back. 

(If you must know, Sheppard, it's twenty-three for the team, and still counting. Sixteen for Jackson alone.) 

(and no, we're not laughing here, nosirree) 

SG-1 

***

**Inviting You to a Blessed Separation of Soulmates Ceremony**

SGA-1 asks you to share with us tea, cake and spiritual/physical cleansing, and observe the first Blessed Separation of Soulmates (as we Athosians call it; also, I understand, known on Earth as no-fault divorce) among the Atlantis teams. In accordance with my people's traditions, there will be symbolic death-us-do-part (Colonel Sheppard is to bring the fighting rods) followed by a short sojourn for further refreshments - and bandages - in the infirmary. 

Teyla 

***

**To Rodney and Laura, a Very Special Couple, on Their Body Sharing Experience**

... and for sharing the experience with us in detail (way, _way_ TMI, McKay) 

Elizabeth, John, Carson, Teyla, Radek and Ronon 

***

**To McKay and Cadman… Two Hearts, One Body???**

... be grateful it wasn't worse. Ask Jackson and Vala if you don't believe us. 

Mitchell and Carter 

***

**Bon Voyage Across The Universe Daniel!**

We'll Miss You... Have fun in Atlantis!!! 

Love, Sam and Teal'c 

***

**Welcome Back Daniel!**

So sorry you didn't make it... again... and hope you're feeling better (and less spotty) soon 

See you when you get out of interstellar quarantine 

Love and Sympathy, Sam and Teal'c 

***

**Get Over the Intergalactic Jabberwockpox Soon...**

to Colonel Caldwell and the Crew of the Daedalus 

Sincere thanks for saving My Archeologist, but we all should have known _something_ would happen to stop Dr. Jackson reaching Atlantis. Glad you're all recovering, and hope the multicolored spots stop burbling (that's a new one, isn't it?) soon... 

General O'Neill 

***

**Get Over the Intergalactic Jabberwockpox Soon...**

And You're Never Leaving This Galaxy Again, Daniel. 

Jack 

***

**Happy Second 21st Birthday MiniMe...**

Hope it's as good as the first 21st was… remember? 

From Me 

***

**Happy Birthday, MiniSir**

I trust it's going better than Sir's. Don't ask. 

Best wishes, Carter 

***

**Happy second 21st Birthday Jack, Hope It's As Good at Your - and His - First 21st… and an Invitation to General Jack's 6th Birthday Party...**

(Don't look at me, I didn't tell him to touch that FauxChocoFountain of Youth!!!) 

Yours, Daniel 

***

**It’s A Girl! It's a Boy! It's a.... Whatever!!**

Dear Sheppard 

Congratulations on Your New Baby FluffiSquidapoid!!!! 

(Sam and I _warned_ you about Sacred Alien Sex Rites...) 

Mitchell 

***

**Congratulations on Your First Alienadectomy!!**

Dear Dr Lam 

(I hear it went splendidly, human and evil otherworldly incubus are both doing as well as can be expected (dead, in the latter case, I take it -?) 

Aye, I agree that those photos should make splendid 'Good Luck' cards to hand out for all the SG1 _or_ SGA teams before missions… 

Dr Carson Beckett, MD 

***

**Happy Birthday Daneeelll**

If Chaka know you be coming, Chaka bake a Goa'uld... 

Chaka 

***

**Missing You.... While You're In That Other Dimension...**

to Mitchell and Sam 

Hope you're corporeal sometime soon 

Daniel and Teal'c 

***

**Congrats on Making it through Your Fifth Alien Invasion!**

To Dr. Weir 

Well done. 

(But no, you can't let McKay and Zelenka keep the invader's megadeathatronic cannon. Trust us, and send it through the nearest wormhole before the IOA find out and give it to Carter as a wedding gift. Don't ask.) 

Generals Landry and O'Neill 

***

**You're Engaged! Again!**

Carter, How Many Time has Daniel Told Us, _Never_ Eat the Alien Betrothal Cake!! 

(And really, _three_ alien princes this time?!? If you're trying to beat SG-2's record… you won't.) 

O'Neill 

***

**To A Special Foursome On Your Engagement...**

Sam, How Many Time Have You Heard Me Tell _Jack_ , Never to Eat the Alien Betrothal Cake?? 

(No, I will not be your bridesmaid, the alien invitations say they will be required to wear pink. As in pink icing. And will be the main course in the wedding breakfast.) 

Love, Daniel 

***

**You Blew Up Your First Stargate!!!**

(Rodney, just tell Dr. Weir it's an official SGC rite of passage. And that Felger's on his third, anyway.) 

Sam 

***

**You Blew Up Your First Planet!!!**

(Dr. Lee, have you been hanging round Colonel Carter Too Long???) 

Landry 

***

**Bon Voyage Again Daniel!**

Have a wonderful time in Atlantis… 

Sam and Teal'c 

***

**Condolences on Your Untimely Passing**

To Dr. Jackson 

Our Deepest Sympathy, it was a sad if habitually heroic way to go… you'll always be remembered. 

(See you next trip?) 

Colonel Caldwell and the Crew of the Daedelus 

***

**Get Undead Soon**

To Dr. Jackson 

So sorry you did not make it to our fair city alive. 

Best wishes, Dr. Weir, and all of Atlantis 

(ps - Dr. McKay wants to know, once you're not dead any more could you ask the General if this means we don't get the new ZPM you were bringing with you?) 

***

**Welcome Back to the Land of the Living…**

And You're Definitely Never Leaving This Galaxy Again, Daniel. Never. 

Jack 

***

**You Blew Up Your Fifth Sun!!!**

(Carter, I'll say it once more. It is NOT a competition, and anyway, you're way out in front) 

O'Neill 

***

**Good News!!**

to McKay 

The Doctor Says You're Feeling Better, and You'll Soon Be Back To Normal.... All Six of You 

Your Affectionate Team 

***

**Bad News!!**

to All of Atlantis 

The Doctor Says McKay Is Feeling Better, and Will Soon Be Back To Normal... All Seven (So Far) of Him 

McKay's Apologetic Team 

***

**With Sincere Thanks from the SGC**

Dear Dr. Weir 

Your gift of nine additional McKays has been received... and your thoughtfulness and generosity will NOT be forgotten. 

(Ever) 

General Hank Landry 

***

**Your 500th Wraith!! How Wonderful!!**

Congrats Ronon, couldn't happen to a nicer Satedan 

from Your Proud Teammates 

***

**Happy Parent 's Day!!!**

(Oh come _on_ , Sheppard, how were Sam and I supposed to warn you that Sacred Alien Sex Rite Baby FluffiSquidapoid's multiply each year???) 

Heaps of good wishes (you're gonna need them), Mitchell 

***

**Your First Trip Offworld!!**

To SG1-42 

Just remember, the answer to life, the Universe and Everything just may be Out There… if you don't die first (or even if you _do_ ). 

SG-1 

***

**Sincere Sympathy...**

To the Alien Elder God Ma'bbos K'nigggotaosh 

(… though any Alien Elder God Who 'consumes' Dr. Jackson and Dr. McKay deserves everything they get.) 

Thanks for returning them, and hope the somewhere-inside-your-unmentionably-unholy-interior-ache goes away soon... 

Elizabeth Weir, Atlantis, and Jack O'Neill, Earth 

***

**Get Well - and Less Purple - Soon**

To Radek 

….From Rodney 

***

**Happy 25th Wedding!!!**

To General O'Neill and all of SG-1… 

…especially Colonels Mitchell _and_ Carter (not laughing here, honestly) 

Teyla says she knows a good divorce ceremony you can borrow… if your new man-eating mammothlily husbands and wives drink tea, that is. 

Colonel Sheppard, Dr. McKay, Teyla Emmagen, Ronan Dex 

**\- the end -**


	2. ... and a few icons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Icons to go with a few of the cards... because I couldn't resist.

01. 02. 03. 04.

05. 06. 07.


End file.
